Homeless Ghandi fan sells out for uglycharts
Uglychart wasn’t the easiest blogger to find information about. There was a little while that misinformation might have been used, but since the Retard Attack readers aren’t interested in phalluses fallicies, the time was invested to find information on the blogger that the world has come to know as Ugly, who will be referred to as Ugly Mike. Ugly Mike grew up in a small town in Cu… oh wait, should I be starting that far back?
There’s a difference between being a blogger, being a trader, and being a blogging trader. Ugly Mike has found something that works well for the readers of his blog. They follow his every word like it were one of his guitar sessions and he plays his blog out strategically like a chess match. There are few errors which makes me wonder if Ugly Mike is actually a robot.
Back when I started trading and thought that other bloggers would be helping me with information, I would head over to Ugly Mike’s website, UglyChart.com, and would notice that nearly every day he had different stocks that closed at new lows or new highs, and had the same quote each time. I’m pretty sure that he forgot to activate some quote widget on his site so instead everyone gets to see “It is one of the great paradoxes of the stock market that what seems too high usually goes higher and what seems too low usually goes lower.” - William O’Neil. For a while, I thought that Ugly Mike didn’t blog but just had some sort of stock feed display at day’s end. Seemed like a lot of bloggers linked to his site and I couldn’t figure out why so I just following the herd.
Well, now that I’ve taken on a more serious role of trading for the last couple years, I have come to realize that Ugly Mike has a way about his site that just captivates the mind and imagination of traders, newbies and retirees alike.
Here’s to you Ugly Mike, let’s hope if we ever meet I can buy you a drink and keep you from kicking my ass.
UglyCharts.com Devoid of Charts
Sure when you see a website named uglycharts you would expect to actually see some charts on it. Nope this is false advertising, just like my search for naked pictures of Elizabeth Tylor this was nothing but a wasted search. On the plus side at least this feeder site didn’t infect my computer with a virus.
Linked to CyberSquatting
UglyCharts.com links to COMPANA, LLC which is a known cybersquatter. While cybersquatting isn’t illegal, it is pathetic but an excellent way to make money. When Ugly Mike needs to get some quick cash he casually registers another 100,000 domain names and waits for the profits while he fools unsuspecting mis-typers and takes them for a spin.
Wears Tinfoil Hats - Huge Into Conspiracy Theories
Long aware of the aliens that are scanning his brain, Ugly Mike has been seen around wearing his tin foil hat. Of course, the dillusion of the alien scanning became more frightening to Mike when his sister made him watch all of The Flintstones cartoons with Kazoo.
Binge Drinker
Every day on Ugly’s site, he posts a simple, but powerful phrase: Good morning, my name is Ugly, and I am a loser. I have it in me to do serious financial damage to my account. Many of you will remember that phrase from the psychology section of Alexander Elder’s excellent book, Trading for a Living, where he compares a losing trader to an alcoholic.
Threw College Chess Championsips - Linked to Mob
After what was suspected to be a quick chess match between Ugly Mike and a relatively low ranking chess player, surprise erupted as police and FBI took down Tim Donaghy just 15 feet away from Ugly Mike after a rook was too easily given up for a pawn. Though charges were later dropped against Ugly Mike, it’s been theorized that some nerdy chess player rolled over on his referee backer.
Involved in Street Fighting
Don’t ever get into a fight with Ugly Mike, especially not a street fight. As you can see from the only picture taken of the Kung Fu Master during a fight, his opponent was scared for a reason. After using a deadly combination of repetitive quotes from his site along with the tin foil hat, the foe was quickly defeated. After which, he gloated that he still had time to watch The Flintstones before beddy-by time.
Day Trader = Homeless person who buys Lottery Tickets
The views are great from up here Ugly Mike says as he basks in the life of being homeless a day trader. With the 10-to-1 margin that normally only hobos and baggabonds are use to getting in places like Santa Monica, California. Ugly Mike can usually sit down at any restaurant and get the scraps from other patrons without even having to beg. Life is easier when you don’t need to worry about the rules Mike explains in a interview with another homeless person on his block.
Falsely Claims to be Kung Fu Master / Ninja
Sure he got a cetificate of participation representing Cuyahoga Falls in the Special Olympics but that hardly counts as a KungFu master. In this rarely seen footage of Mike training you can see his njna skills on display. In later years he graduated to a blue and purple belt only to be banned from the supermarket studio he practiced in.
Wins Prize for Least Cool Hobbies
This guys hobbies are: rodents, family films and dining out which is the personality match for an ummaried nerd woman who works at a pet store. Being that Mike is from Philadelphia he might have turned an abnormal fixation with the movie Rocky into his own life story. If that weren’t bad enough he’s into sweat bands, leafy greens and Ghandi - translation he’s not much into bathing. If he threatens to show you a movie run his favorites are: The Ox-Bow Incident, Ikiru, Ran, Seven Samurai, Sanjuro, The Grapes of Wrath, the Lone Wolf and Cub series, Roger Dodger before he lulls you to sleep with lame boring movies and has his way with you.
Ghandi Fan: Sold Out to Wall Street
Ugly: Gandhi and Tolstoy have been inspirations to me and have given me a much greater idea of the purpose of my life. Idolizing a Communist writer and a anorrexic peace activist who preached socialsm then spending your days trading corporate futures at a prop firm might seem like a sell-out to some. UglyTrader may have sold out on the inside but his cool anti-establishment skipped washing my hair hat keeps it real for him.
7 Responses to “Homeless Ghandi fan sells out for uglycharts”
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i love the tin foil hat!
How did you photoshop in that nerdy red beanie cap? That was amazing, truly the most insulting thing you have ever done, it totally looked real to me.
Photoshop? That’s not Photoshop, that is actually Ugly’s hat. He covered the hat in duct tape and though there are many rumors about why, I think that he just wanted to hide any affections or love for the Steelers.
Gnarly.
-DT
Not your best work.
One Bad Dude, you are totally right on that point. Unfortunately I had to do some of the investigation and writing myself (it’s hard to get help that will stay past 5pm these days). In the future, Mr. R will only be hiring needy immigrant Retards that are willing to work more.
I think it needed pictures of uglycharts posing in a compromising position, sykes had his psykic deal, equine trader made movies with horses, and m2m was into dressing like a woman. I think the problem is all of the hard work / good ideas / immigrant labor is going into the month long retard attack. Maybe more photoshopping of ugly was needed.