10 Reasons to Hate Richard / Move the Markets
Move the Markets isn’t just the sound the market makes when it has a bowel movement, it’s the nickname of a reclusive web trader. When I say reclusive I don’t mean like shy or awkward in groups, we’re talking unabomber like weird. Richard Wesley Todd isn’t a person to be shunned or ignored, he should be hated like Hitler, someone who drowns kittens, global warming or Carrot Top.
Falsifies Trading Information
Sure these shiny stock charts look cool and there’s nothing more entertaining on the web than Richard’s 156 videos of his mouse scrolling over stock charts but the problem is they’re all fake. Beyond cheating it appears that the only purpose of these trades is for money laundering his male escort profits.
Possible Serial Killer
I’m going out on a limb with this one, because this allegation has no real evidence (unlike all of my other reasons to hate Richard). This one is circumstantial - he fits the profile:
- reclusive loner who has no friends
- white mid 30’s
- feelings of inflated self-importance (see blog)
- failed career (see life)
Known Cross dresser
A google search for Richard Todd reveals he is a well known cross dresser in the Houston area going by Rachel - talk about moving the markets (vomit taste in mouth)
Not Really in Texas
Sure Richard would have you believe he lives in Texas but if you look closely this supposed Texan does not like country music, uses multi syllabic words and does not appear to like football. Based on our IP traces we believe that Richard Todd may be living somewhere in Rio de Janeiro Brazil, although our computer abilities are limited to using AOL so we might be way off on this one.
Registered Sex Offender
If you look closely on his videos, you never see his ankle and he never leaves his apartment. The only logical explanation for this would be he is under house arrest and most probably a registered sex offender.
Disbarred Lawyer
A simple google search for Richard Todd will reveal his former career as a lawyer disbarred by the Texas state supreme court. Apparently he moved the law to the point of losing his licence to practice law. Whatever he did he got enough money to stay at home and not work so congrats Richard.
Stock Charts Actually Show Hidden Messages
Like heavy metal albums (which Richard loves almost as much as cross dressing) you can find hidden meanings by playing them backwards. His love for passion for finding patterns in music provides a valuable clue for interpreting his crazy charts. If you look closely on the stock history of the stocks he claims to be charting things simply don’t match. The manipulated charts actually have hidden meaning if you can watch the videos closely enough they are a desperate plea for help.
Annoying Vulcan Personality
Richard’s apartment is one man Star Trek convention of nerd gestures and monotone insipid personality highlights.
Uses a Macintosh
Only six year olds and people who can’t figure out the concept of a c drive will flock to ride the short bus of computers and ride the internet superhighway with the other retards.
Raising Small Cat Colony
Cats are like herpes outbreaks on your lips, they start small but one turns into many and before you know it Richard will have a small army of cats. At the present rate of infection reproduction his cat population will go up by one for each 43 videos he uploads to youtube. At that rate there will be 75 cats before the end of the year and they will kill and eat him only to find he did taste like chicken.
4 Responses to “10 Reasons to Hate Richard / Move the Markets”
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This is horribly inaccurate… my cat colony is not small.
thankfully, someone exposed this guy!
This is vicious. I plan on giving it wide exposure tomorrow! Clearly, Richard’s “death march across the Internet” is coming to a close.
-DT
This is an excellent piece of investigative journalism. Bravo. I see a pulitzer in your future.