Will shill for food

I’ve decided that I would make a change here at Retard Trader, and start shilling for whatever I can. It seem that trading isn’t going to make me any money (F’ing GRMN, JCP, C, BIDU, etc…). So what better way to shill than to make a couple important post backs and get more traffic?

Thus, welcome to shilling 101 in which I will attempt to capture a sliver of John Chow’s sloppy seconds and Zac Johnson’s hand-me-downs hoping they have the slightest hope in watching a Retard Trader make money slowly and lose it quicker. Why not, right?

First I want to thank a hosting company with whom I have never done business. Why thank them? Because if you sign up than I’ll get paid. If I get paid, and you tell me you signed up and give me your email address, I’ll split the profit with you. Take that you conspiracy folks, I’ll give away half the money! So sign up for the greatest webhost on planet Retard, if you need hosting. They even have a ridiculous graphic for their logo:

Next.. if you have ever been interested in buying currency (you know, that Forex stuff you read about) than I have fantitilyastic deal for you. I’ll pay you to sign up. No ship, really. Just click the ad below and sign up for an account, deposit $200 and make a trade. Once your account has been verifited, I’ll send you your choice of cashiers check, PayPal, or cash of $200. Right.. you sign up, deposit $200 (you can do it with a credit card because this place is actually legit and not a legal gambling site) and I’ll give you $200, sounds insane right? It is, I’m a retard. Take advantage of it now! Click the banner below, sign up, than send me an email with the email address you signed up with and BAM! Cashola to you.

What? You say that you aren’t interested in Forex trading or website hosting?

How about helping a Retard out and downloading some software? It doesn’t get easier than this for helping out.. just download some software, install it, I promise it’s not adware crap. It’s from the best trading software ever, Trading Solutions. Their software is actually really good, I know because I’ve used it. It comes up with all sorts of history and more stuff that’s pretty spectacular. Take the minute, download and try it out.. no harm there, right?

How about starting your own blog? You can register a domain name for cheap these days, I know because I got Retard Trader that way (amazing, nobody else had it already, right?). I went over to Go Daddy and registered this and about 20 other domain names. The other 19 you ask? I’ll tell you after you register a name. It only costs a couple bucks and you can then skip over to Gator and sign up for hosting and start blogging. Need a domain name idea, just ask!

That’s enough of that for today.

Tomorrow watch me sell my brother on eBay!

(I truly hope you all know that I realize a shill doesn’t give away that there’s an association between the shill and product or company being pumped)